It's Yr Life Page 4
talk 2 me.
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From: Milla Gainsberg [millag@beverlyglengirlshigh.net]
To: Sim [sim@byronshireprogressive.edu.au]
Subject: answer me or else
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OK, Sim, you’re freaking me out. What the hell was in the dumpster? And if it’s that bad, why haven’t you gone to the cops?
I want to know. You can’t just say stuff like that and not explain. It’s got me thinking. Maybe you’re not even a real kid? I read this article online about old guys who pretend to be kids, and then they meet up with real kids and murder them. Or rape them. Whatever. Something bad.
Sometimes I wonder if you are really a kid. I’m still not sure I believe the rats/python thing and you seem to know a lot of stuff for someone who’s had to move around a lot. And what’s with all that ‘totally yr own dawg’ speak? I thought you were Australian, not American.
Look, don’t get me wrong. I’m not judging you. And it’s a compliment if you really are a kid. (And Australian. I really hope you’re Australian. If you’re American I’ll go psycho … God, maybe you’re my brother? Maybe that’s why he keeps looking at me funny?)
Anyway, whoever you are, I think filming the woman next door in the pool is a wicked idea. I’m onto it. I don’t think they can do anything ’cause I’m underage. And I’ll just deny it or say that I wasn’t filming her. Or get Dad to use his lawyer.
I’m going to do it. In fact, I think I can hear her outside right now. It’s Saturday afternoon! (And it’s a different guy?!) What gives! Maybe she’s a nympho? She’s crazy. Does she really think no-one can see? Or maybe that’s the point. Maybe she wants me to see … maybe she’s a lesbian … hang on, maybe you’re her! Maybe she’s pretending to be ‘sim’ and gets off on me watching her while I type all this stuff back to her about her?
Whatever. I’m going to get the camera.
OK, I’m back. The guy has a hairy back; that’s disgusting. Filmed them and ready to put it on YouTube. This is going to be great. Look it up if you can. Oh, YouTube is going to check the content first – great.
I never knew I had a unique name. How weird. I didn’t think it was that unusual. What’s your porn name? It’s the name of your first pet and first street you ever lived on. So mine is Mintie Beachwood.
The big news here is that my brother got expelled yesterday. They caught him smoking weed on campus. My dad is going to go mental. I don’t think my mom has told him yet. It’s totally weird, my brother doesn’t even look like he cares. There’s a song by this girl Lily Allen and I swear she’s talking about my brother. All about how he’s always smoking weed in his bedroom and she wishes he’d get his shit together. She feels guilty, like it’s kind of her fault that he’s turned to drugs blah blah.
Weird, huh? Bizarre that someone else in the world is going through the exact same things as me. She’s an English singer. Really cool. Kind of ska. She’s been on the scene for a few years now. I always thought she was black but then I checked out her MySpace page and she’s white.
What color are you? (Does thinking she’s black make me a racist?) Are there a lot of Aboriginal kids at your school? They seem really cool. Like shaman warriors. Their philosophy on how to live on Earth is kind of what we’re all just starting to figure out, right?
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‘The Dreaming’
the free encyclopedia
Aboriginal culture is all about the connection between people and the land. Aborigines named the beginning of the world the ‘Dreaming’. They believe their ancestors rose up from the earth to form different parts of nature – from trees, to animals, water and the sky. Aboriginal spirituality doesn’t believe people exist on a higher level than nature. There are about 400,000 Australian Aborigines.
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Do you think a female president will ever run for election, or an Aboriginal one? (What do you guys have again? Oh, that’s right, a prime minister.) I hope so. Seems weird and sad that there still hasn’t been one in your country. Almost the same as here. Thank God Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have finally changed that. I really like Barack Obama. I don’t know about Hillary though. Her husband gets publicly caught cheating and she stays with him? Hailey thinks I was crazy for wanting Barack over Hillary. She said it wasn’t very feminist of me. Whatever. I don’t think she even knows what a feminist really is. Hailey also thinks I should sneak into this club that’s supposed to be cool. I don’t know. I don’t really want to. Weak, weak, weak. Yep, Hillary, me and Mom. Weak women: the theme of my life. Maybe I don’t really know what a true feminist is. I’m googling now … oh, the definition isn’t very interesting. Social equality of the sexes and women’s rights. Boooring.
Please tell me what was in the dumpster. It’ll take my mind off my dad. He’s never hit my brother or me, but he’s gonna go ballistic when he hears my brother got expelled. Any great ideas as to how I should deal with it? Write me back ASAP so I’m prepared. But if you don’t have any ideas, TELL ME WHAT WAS IN THE DUMPSTER. It’ll make you feel better.
Milla
PS I don’t think it’s safe that you have a python in your roof. If you call the city’s health and welfare department and complain, they’ll come and get the rats out for you and fumigate.
PPS I found muddy footprints on the concrete outside my window. But get this: they were tiny, like a kid’s sneakers. What the hell? (It’s not my bro ’cause he has big feet.) Mom and Dad think I’m trying to get attention. As if. Morons. But now I know it’s a little dude, I’m not afraid. I can take him.
PPPS TELL ME WHAT WAS IN THE DUMPSTER OR ELSE I’LL GET THE PERVERT DWARF TO COME AROUND TO YOUR HALFWAY HOUSE AND HIT ON THE HOT SMOKIN’ BITCH … are you too scared to hook up with her?
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From: Sim [sim@byronshireprogressive.edu.au]
To: Milla Gainsberg [millag@beverlyglengirlshigh.net]
Subject: I am real
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hey
been watching back the video of what we found and i’m thinkin of doing something.
i’m gonna go get the things out of the dumpster cos if it gets taken away i’m never gonna know how they got there.
what do u think? PLEASE don’t tell anyone i’m askin u this stuff. i don’t want 2 end up in a line-up.
i am a real kid. well, a man really. i got about 7 hairs on my chin now + i’m workin on some bitchin biceps. but i’m not some creepy old dude. if i was 40 and i still had only 7 hairs i’d get chin-plugs like yr old man’s head.
i kinda like that u have no idea who yr writing 2. nothing i say might be true. i might actually be the chick who does it in her pool. in fact i’m wearin a bikini right now. and i look hot.
joke.
i have 2 admit something … the python’s a lie. i was playin with it in a script i’m writing but u saw straight thru it. people really do put pythons in their roof around here but not us. we do have rats though.
i think maybe u r lying about the woman in the pool. if yr not lying then email me the vid. (just for proof y’know. not cos i want 2 see her nekkid or anything.)
i’m heading out. gonna go see if it’s been collected yet. i want 2 talk 2 raj about it but i can’t get a second alone with him. he’s always out shootin pics 4 the paper. lawn bowls. cats stuck in trees. but i’ve got a real story 4 him.
wish me luck.
s.
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From: Milla Gainsberg [millag@beverlyglengirlshigh.net]
To: Sim [sim@byronshireprogressive.edu.au]
Subject:????????????
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WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IN THE DUMPSTER? TELL ME OR I’LL NEVER WRITE BACK.
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From: Sim [sim@byronshireprogressive.edu.au]
To: Milla Gainsberg [millag@beverlyglengirlshigh.net]
Subject: stench
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hey
i went out. had 2 dig round 4 ages. there was so much crap on top of them. heaps of festy half-eate
n pizza + a big container of sour cream that had gone off + cardboard boxes + a bunch of rotten fruit and rancid onions + (don’t read this if you’ve got a weak stomach) a big pile of diced ham with about seven thousand maggots feeding on it.
this is dumpster-diving @ its very worst. and no i didn’t bring the ham home for sandwiches.
but i’ve got what i went 2 find. they’re in my bottom drawer + it’s seriously weirding me out. they’re kind of festy and they stink but i figure if they take away the dumpster there’ll be no evidence and this thing needs investigation. i don’t know if i just think i can smell them cos i’m freaking that raj and deepspace are gonna find them or if i really can smell flesh.
i gotta go wash my hands again. like lauren. ever since she arrived she’s been washing her hands like 13 times a day. is this normal 4 chicks? thinking not.
talk later.
s.
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From: Milla Gainsberg [millag@beverlyglengirlshigh.net]
To: Sim [sim@byronshireprogressive.edu.au]
Subject: trash hands
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SIM!
Just tell me what they are!
And no, washing your hands a trillion times is not what ‘normal’ chicks do. But then again, maybe it’s ’cause you guys get your food out of the trash. If I dumpster-dived for my food I’d start to wash my hands more too.
Uh-oh, little bro is getting yelled at. Better go make sure things are OK.
Milla
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From: Sim [sim@byronshireprogressive.edu.au]
To: Milla Gainsberg [millag@beverlyglengirlshigh.net]
Subject: don’t know what to do
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hey.
back.
bit better.
promise me u won’t tell.
here goes …
tuesday night we’re goin 4 a dive – me, lauren and deepspace. lauren takes us 2 this dumpster – back of dario’s pizza. lauren + i jump in + find these pizzas – pristine. then as i’m jumpin out i see this weird thing. so i stop and go in 4 a better look. i say holy crap. come n look @ this. so lauren pokes her head in and says what is it? and i tell her it’s 3 fingers. cut off. they’re lying on a cardboard box with blood on it. deepspace comes + looks but doesn’t say anything. lauren freaks out and nearly vomits. then she says – let’s go 2 the cops. deepspace says – no let’s go home. and i’m like – r u out of yr head? let’s tell the cops. and deepspace says – let’s just go. then lauren says – no we really need 2 do something about this.
deepspace semi-loses it like she does with anything 2 do with cops so i jump out and we head off. deepspace is tryin 2 act casual but she’s sketchy. she says – we’re probly best off not getting involved. this town’s got some dark currents – or something. then she says – do u agree guys – we should just move on, not say anything?
lauren agrees and i’m like – well we didn’t do it. what r we worried about? and deepspace just laughs it off and then we don’t say another word all the way home.
but later that night i hear deepspace and lauren arguing out in the kitchen. and deepspace never really argues. she just states her case + smiles calmly till u come round 2 her way of thinking. but she was really going 4 it.
and now i have a chip cup full of frickin fingers in my drawer and i dunno what 2 do. i think they’re men’s fingers. they have black hairs on them like the fly. have u seen that movie? and they’re fat like uncooked sausages. they look like they were kind of hacked away @ the knuckle joint. whoever did it was no surgeon. and the fingers look kind of mangled too – little chunks taken out of them. i flicked them into the cup 1 @ a time with a chopstick.
i just opened the drawer and i’m looking @ them right now. i wonder if just the fingers r dead or if the body they were attached 2 is dead 2. maybe there are bits of the body in dumpsters all over town? maybe i shld go check? what if whoever it is finds out i’ve got the fingers? what if it’s deepspace?
i kind of wish u were here. maybe u’d know what 2 do. do u?
sorry for crappin on but this is major … like yr bro getting busted. hope he’s ok.
i’ll try 2 take my mind off this thing and respond 2 stuff u asked …
our school’s pretty mixed race. lots of people from everywhere. (must not think about fingers.) some sudanese. some asian girls. a few aboriginal kids. a couple of indian kids.
who’s this pervert dwarf?
my porn name is t.c. crawford. (first rd i can remember livin on. it was the house in vermont. a dirt rd off the side of an old highway. creepy as hell.)
i’ve attached a shot of me down at the ti-tree lake. what do u look like?
anyway my hands are shaking + i just heard deepspace in the hall. don’t tell anyone.
s.
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From: Milla Gainsberg [millag@beverlyglengirlshigh.net]
To: Sim [sim@byronshireprogressive.edu.au]
Subject: OMG
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Uh, hello? As if I care about Sudanese kids after what you told me! Fingers? CUT-OFF FINGERS?! WHAT THE HELL? That is out of control. If you are making this shit up I’m going to get really angry. Wait, are you a child psychologist? You’re like some alternative hippie child welfare person who’s trying to take my mind off my psycho dad, right? This isn’t real is it? I know it’s not real. ’Cause things don’t add up. Like, why would your hippie do-gooder guardians not want to do the right thing by taking the fingers to the cops? Maybe Raj and Deepspace told Lauren something they didn’t tell you? I’d heavy her into talking.
In all Dad’s cop shows (he has three running right now and I swear they are all the same dumb storyline every week), they trick the guest stars into confessing the story by going for their weak spot. So go after the hot smoking bitch’s dead parents (sorry, don’t mean to be harsh but we don’t have time to be PC), she’ll get teary, and then you start drilling her with questions. (She is an orphan like you, right? Or is she … wait … maybe she’s in the witness protection program … uh-oh … maybe her parents are killers and she’s hiding out at your place? Maybe they’re the finger-loppers!)
Anyway, I don’t get why YOU have not gone to the cops. You are HIDING the fingers. It makes it look like YOU’RE the one who chopped ’em off. You gotta go fess up or you’ll get the blame. GO TO THE COPS NOW. SERIOUSLY. GO. Don’t mean to scare you but if you’re just an orphan and they want to lay blame on someone, it’s gonna be you ’cause you won’t have parents with cash to bail you out. Seriously. Here in L.A. all the rich kids get out of the slammer but all the poor/homeless/orphaned kids stay in FOR THEIR WHOLE LIVES. Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan all stayed in jail for, like, three hours. They’re cashed up. You’re not. Go to the cops NOW.
Thank God you told me what was in the dumpster, ’cause I swear I couldn’t sleep without knowing what it was. I was sure it was a baby. Some girl who got pregnant and dumped it. Apparently that happens all the time. I saw a bumper sticker today that said ‘DON’T ABANDON YOUR NEWBORN’… freaky coincidence, right? Well, not really, ’cause the thing in the dumpster wasn’t a baby.
BUT – AND I’M WRITING THIS IN CAPS ’CAUSE YOU NEED TO ACT IMMEDIATELY – IF YOU GET THOSE FINGERS BACK TO THAT PERSON ASAP, THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO SEW THEM BACK ON. YOU NEED TO PUT THEM ON ICE SO THEY DON’T START ROTTING AND GET THEM TO THE HOSPITAL ASAP. THE PERSON WHO LOST THEM WILL BE AT THE HOSPITAL.
I know this ’cause I saw an episode of CSI where someone lopped off their digits. But you’ve got to hurry. And you should take it to the police anyway just in case someone has been murdered and those fingers in the dumpster help them find the murderer.
’Cause you’re a good person, right? That’s what a good person would do.
Don’t worry about my sitch, I’ll be OK. Bad shit happening but I can deal with it. Bro did not get beaten up but Mom did. Don’t know why I’m such a moron and thought it might stop. As if. I feel like I want to punch a hole in the wall. I f
eel like I could do it, too.
IF THERE IS ONE THING I KNOW, IT’S THAT EVERYBODY IN THIS WORLD IS IN IT FOR THEMSELVES. LOOK AFTER YOURSELF AND GO TO THE COPS.
Milla
PS Coffee beans help neutralize smells … well, kind of. When you sample perfumes at Bloomingdales, the salespeople give you coffee beans to sniff so you cleanse your smelling palate. Maybe put coffee beans in with the fingers?
PPS SERIOUSLY, I’M WORRIED ABOUT YOU. GO TO THE COPS IMMEDIATELY.
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From: Sim [sim@byronshireprogressive.edu.au]
To: Milla Gainsberg [millag@beverlyglengirlshigh.net]
Subject: the interrogation
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hey m
thanks 4 yr e. sorry it’s taken me so long 2 get back. computer kinda blew up. like my life.
i tried heavying lauren like u said. went 2 her room. she’s got the raconteurs on superloud + the room was full of cigarette smoke. like a freaking bushfire. i kept waiting 4 fire dudes 2 bust in + rescue our asses.
she starts dancin with me and i don’t know what 2 do. i yell out that i want 2 talk 2 her about the finger thing and she can’t hear me. she’s all writhin around + so i say something about her dead parents and she doesn’t hear me. so i say again ‘how’d yr folks die?’ and then I realise they’re probly not even dead. she grabs my hand and starts taking me towards her bed and it’s something i dreamed of since the first second i saw her and i want 2 jab myself in the eye 2 see if i’m dreaming. but then i pull away and bail out of the room like a scared little boy. i swear there is no other guy in australia who would say no 2 action with this girl. think pink meets gwen stefani. but maybe a little skankier.