It's Yr Life Read online

  About the book

  PROMISE ME YOU WON’T TELL?

  Sim’s from Byron Bay. Milla lives in Hollywood. Sim’s in a foster home and dumpster-dives for food. Milla lives in a mansion with her celebrity parents.

  When they’re forced to email each other for an assignment, it’s doomed to fail. So why haven’t they stopped? Secrets …

  What did Sim find that has him running scared? Whose footprints are outside Milla’s window - and how can she fix her screwed-up family before something really bad happens?

  Contents

  Cover

  About the Book

  Title Page

  Dedication

  It’s Yr Life

  Acknowledgements

  Image Credits

  Need Help?

  About the Authors

  Copyright Page

  Dedicated to our better halves and master proofreaders, Brian and Amber! Sim and Milla’s journey would not have been possible without your wonderful advice and support.

  * * *

  From: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: hey

  * * *

  Hello, Australian penpal.

  If you’re anything like me you think this is LAME. But I have to do it to get an A in English, so I’m doing it.

  My name is Milla Gainsberg. I’m fifteen. I think this is a major waste of time … but then again, I guess I can use you like my diary or something. Tell you my deepest, darkest secrets and they’re safe ’cause you’re thousands of miles away.

  I’ve never been to Australia. My dad’s shot three movies there but he’s never taken me with him. He’s a producer. He thinks he’s cool. He’s not. Most of the time I hate his guts.

  I just thought of something. How do our teachers know we’re really emailing someone? How do we ‘show evidence’ of the emails? I don’t want to show my teacher, Bitch Mayo, anything. I don’t want her knowing my deepest, darkest secrets. She’s one of those teachers who pretends to be your best friend. AAGGHH. I wish she would just do her job and stop trying to be cool. I guess we can print out our email inbox page. Then they’ll see we’ve been emailing back and forth. Can you even print out that page?

  So, secrets. Got any good ones? You’d think my life would be full of them. I have a movie producer for a dad and a model for a mom. But don’t get any ideas that I’m hot, ’cause I’m not. I’m just normal, thanks to Dad’s potato-head genes.

  I don’t understand how this is going to be interesting. Nothing interesting happens when you’re fifteen. It’s like you’re in virtual mode. You’re kind of living, but not really. You can’t live the way you want and everyone tells you what to do. I tried to explain this to my best friend Hailey, but she looked at me like I was on crack.

  Why don’t any of the kids at my school think like I do? Am I weird? Nope, just boring. My life is sooooooooo boring. I have three best friends, Olivia, Sage and Hailey. Nothing cool ever happens to us. I guess ’cause we never do anything that cool. I go to Hebrew school on weekends, debate team on Tuesday afternoons, and Thursday afternoons I work on the school paper. The rest of the time I do homework and just hang out. OK, I guess I sound like a bit of a nerd, right? You’re never going to write me back, are you?

  Actually, today something interesting did happen. Tita, the maid, spilled cleaning fluid all over my dad’s photo albums. (They’re not pictures of our family, they’re his ‘film’ albums. Photos from all the movies and TV shows he’s worked on. They’re his most prized possession – loser.) He was so mad. He screamed at her. But Tita has tricked my parents into thinking she can’t speak English. She just stood there like she didn’t understand. But I know she did. I’ve heard her talking on the phone to her friends. She can speak perfect English.

  I love that she’s smarter than my dad. He’s such an asshole. See pic below, and YES, those are hairplugs. He’s going through a midlife crisis or something. Trying to keep himself looking like he did when he was forty. Don’t think so, Dad. You’re getting OLD. Old and ugly.

  Sorry for boring you.

  Milla

  PS Do you know if it’s hard to put locks on doors?

  * * *

  From: Sim [[email protected]]

  To: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]

  Subject: hey back

  * * *

  i’ve read yr e like 3 times. i can’t believe your dad’s a movie producer. and that he made moby! i love that movie.

  i make movies 2. i live 4 movies. not that yr old man’s gonna b pickin up any of my weird stuff. still, maybe u can tell me how movies r made in the real world. where i’m from, u have 2 make banana sandwiches for the crew while yr directing, shooting and acting in the same scene.

  15 huh? im 15 too. live in byron bay – east coast australia – bout a thousand k’s north of sydney. a kind of ex-hippie beach town where some people have stacks of cash from real estate and others have nothin. lots of peeps into kooky religions + therapies. everyone u meet is a yoga teacher and u can get a colonic irrigation on evry street corner. u know what a colonic is? pretty wrong.

  here’s a pic i took on my vidcam from broken head nr byron.

  got 2 say – u and i r pretty different.

  i live in a foster home. it’s 4 kids who have been chucked out of home or whose parents have died. i’m looked after by a dude called raj and a chick we call deepspace cos she’s so chilled all the time.

  deepspace is a healer – does reiki, naturopathy + yoga. she went 2 uni 4 like 10 yrs. raj is cool. he’s a photographer and activist. teaching me indonesian at the moment. this is the best place i’ve lived, and i’ve lived in a few places.

  only me here right now. we just lost one other kid – sam – a 12 yr old dude with autism. we were mates but he got reunited with his folks. it’s good 4 him but it sucks 4 me when everyone i start 2 like gets taken away. we get a lot of kids passing thru. there’s some other chick coming in the next few days.

  a typical day at my place …

  4 am. sometimes go fishing off the rocks with raj.

  otherwise wake at 6. pick stuff out of our massive fruit and veg garden in backyard 4 breakfast.

  school. hang out by myself. cut my movie in media room @ lunch or work on my new script. maybe play guitar or drums in music room.

  walk home. get called a scavenger by other kids.

  watch movies (donnie darko my all-time fave) or skate down 2 beach.

  have a surf or film other surfers on my vidcam.

  go 2 restaurants with raj or deepspace when they close round 10. get the food they’re chucking away. bring it back 4 late supper and breakfast.

  i’m making a movie bout my ‘family’ at the moment. about us being freegans. freegan means we don’t buy anything. we have stuff like electricity (and i pick up the wifi signal from the people next door. is that bad?), but we don’t buy things. we just find stuff.

  that probably sounds 2 weird for u but did u know that aussies chucked out about $5.3 billion worth of food last yr? raj + deepspace r total planet menders and don’t believe in buying tons of stuff we don’t need.

  google ‘freegan video’. most of the vids r pretty mainstream but they’ll tell u what’s up.

  there’s a speech from fight club that raj is always pulling out. it’s about how we spend our whole lives working dumb jobs 2 make cash 2 buy crap we don’t need + how we all think we’re gonna be rock stars + movie gods but we’re not. we’ve got it so wrong + we’re angry about it + we need 2 do something now.

  anyway, i’ve said more than i wanted 2. i won’t be cut if u don’t write back. most people r freaked by freegans. but i’m not gonna lie 2 u about who i
am. i like english but if we’re gonna survive this whole efriend thing u better get used 2 how weird i am.

  peace in m.e.

  sim

  ps google ‘freegan info’ too. there’s a cool site.

  pps locks on doors? dunno. r there no hardwares in hollywood? and who do u wanna lock out? or in?

  * * *

  From: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]

  To: Sim [[email protected]]

  Subject: freegans vs bums

  * * *

  Hey Sim

  First things first. You ARE weird. But I mean that as a compliment. Everyone I know is EXACTLY the same as everyone else … can’t believe you’re into making movies, though. I finally get to talk to someone who doesn’t live in Hollywood and it’s an Australian kid who wants to be a director. Figures. Life is cruel.

  I bet Bitch Mayo purposely teamed me up with you. She’s totally out to get me. Probably a failed actor who auditioned for Dad. She likes all the other kids in class, but not me. Me she always pushes.

  Look, no offense. Being into movies isn’t lame. It just gets annoying when it’s the ONLY thing anyone EVER talks about. Seriously, people here know more details about Star Wars than either of the Iraq wars. I’m not kidding.

  Anyway, either you really ARE weird and different or you’re just pretending to be. (The freegan thing, I’ve never even heard of that. It’s called being a bum here. No offense, but it is.)

  Heaps of girls at my school make out they’re different, just so they don’t disappear into the crowd. They join peace marches and protest against the war, but they don’t care. I think they just do it to look cool. I don’t think they’re cool. I think they’re sheep. Like all the people my parents hang out with.

  I know you’re excited that my dad is a producer, but he won’t help you. He tells people he’s going to do them favors all the time and he never does. His saying isn’t from Fight Club but it’s kind of the same idea. ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer.’

  Know what I mean? He’s THAT guy. The kind of guy people in your seaside town would hate. Because they should. (Dad knows the screenwriter for Fight Club, Jim Uhls. He’s pretty cool and doesn’t bullshit like my dad does. I might be able to get him to help you with your movie stuff … maybe.)

  Even though I hadn’t heard about it before, I really like the stuff you said about freegans and not wasting food. Maybe I’ll write an article about it for my school paper. Where I live, people love not eating their food. Mainly ’cause you get so much of it. (And because nearly everyone is an actor, so they’re all anorexic.) You go into a restaurant and the plate they serve you could feed three people. You can take it home if you want, but most people leave it and the restaurant just throws it out. They could give it to homeless people but they don’t. Because one time some homeless guy sued them. He choked on something or got sick or something else totally dumb. So he sued them. For heaps of cash. Now restaurants don’t give leftover food to homeless people. How dumb is that?

  Ever seen a pic of Skid Row? It’s where some of the homeless people in L.A. live. In cardboard boxes.

  When tourists come to visit Hollywood, they always buy these dumb maps of where all the celebrities’ homes are. Do you think Skid Row is on that map? Yeah, right. Google it and you’ll see what I mean.

  Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I was kind of busy. Well, that’s not really true. I wasn’t busy. My parents have been fighting all the time so Josh (little bro) and I have been hanging out at friends’ places and the Grove (massive outdoor mall near our house). Parents suck.

  Sorry. I shouldn’t have written that to you. It sounds like you don’t have parents. That must be weird. To me it sounds great, but probably to you it sucks ass.

  I guess you think I’m spoiled, right? Well, maybe I am. But not in a useful way. I’m spoiled with material goods, not quality time with Mom and Pops.

  I’m out.

  Milla

  PS Guess what? Heaps of people here are into all those hippie trippy therapies too, and EVERYONE does yoga. Even babies do yoga.

  How dumb is that?

  PPS I don’t get the way you signed off. What does ‘peace in m.e.’ mean? Are you a stoner? PPPS I went to a hardware store today – thanks. Had no idea that’s where you buy locks. Who knew, right? Out the front of the store there were all these Mexican guys standing around. My driver told me that you can hire them to help you build your house and do odd jobs. They don’t have papers to live in the States so they’re trying to get any old job that comes their way. I got one of the guys to come with us and install the lock. It only cost me forty bucks?! How cheap is that? I was so relieved ’cause I didn’t want to ask Dad to do it.

  * * *

  From: Sim [[email protected]]

  To: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]

  Subject: fish tacos

  * * *

  hey milla

  got yr e. u sound kinda cool but a little pissed with the world, maybe – people at school who r sheep, yr parents, babies who do yoga … and what does

  ‘I bet Bitch Mayo purposely teamed me up with you. She’s totally out to get me’ mean? and calling me a stoner? and u have a driver? is that a joke?

  no offence (as u said before u called me a bum), but maybe u could stop blaming everyone else + paying out on people who have never even met u.

  i like that story about the dumpster-diver who choked on food then sued the restaurant. i guess that’s where the saying ‘only in america’ came from. u guys r crazy. we have this march in byron evry yr called ‘independence from america day’. i’ve never actually taken 2 the streets but it’s on july 4 and people march 4 australia 2 stop blindly agreeing with everything the u.s. gov does. but since obama, support 4 the march is dwindling.

  what’s yr take on america + the rest of the world?

  u seem 2 dig the idea of people eating food from a dumpster and standing up 4 what they believe in. what kinds of things r u doing? or r u just trying to make the aussie freak who doesn’t have a maid + a fridge with an ice machine feel better?

  i hope yr not like one of those girls in a movie who we feel sorry 4 cos she’s an outsider or ugly or whatever. but really u can tell she’s cute + the make-up dept’s just messed up her hair, given her glasses + stuck her in overalls. then she arrives @ the dance wearing an armani dress (do they make armani dresses?) worth half a million and she’s become a princess, but really she was a princess all along.

  i know that’s probly a crap thing 2 say and i know it’s stereotyping u but that’s kinda what i’m hearin. seems like u have all these problems, but really u r filthy rich and live in l.a. how r u sposed 2 keep it real or know who u r?

  i just reread what i wrote. sorry. forget what i say 2day. tired. we’ve got rats in the roof + they wake me up at 1.00, 3.00 + 4.30 every morning. i can see a patch forming on the ceiling above my head where they’re pissing. when i feel a drip i’m movin into the lounge room.

  the new girl arrived last nite. lauren. i didn’t see her cos it was nearly midnight but i heard her. there was this massive argument btween her and raj. he reckons she’s been in a girls detention centre but that she’s made amends or something. things have been going really well 4 us. hope she doesn’t f*#% it up.

  our teacher said we shld give u a list of stuff we like so here goes:

  fish tacos – hawaiian style. watching big-wave surfing. riding my longboard skatey. watching movies – triple features. making music. finding something cool that somebody chucked out – like my laptop (cracked screen, works fine) or my video cam (old, grainy and grunge. i like it). dreaming. dreaming about space. wondering what’s out there. sleepin on the beach. mountain biking. playing table tennis. sharp pencils. tabasco sauce. making movies. mashing up movies + cutting activist flicks. dogs. hot not-dogs (we’re vego. vegaquarian cos we eat fish). [email protected]. talking about movies. rollercoasters. bea
ch. people who act on what they believe in.

  peace in m.e. (middle east. i figured with u being from l.a. u might not have time 2 read middle east.)

  selamat tinggal (goodbye in indo)

  ps cld u seriously get jim uhls 2 look @ my script?

  * * *

  From: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]

  To: Sim [[email protected]]

  Subject: hypocrite

  * * *

  Sim

  (It means ‘you’re a jerk’ in Hebrew.)

  You go on about how deep down I’m a rich, bratty princess with a make-up artist on stand-by to mess up my hair and ‘keep me real’, but you’re just as bad. And you’re a racist.

  You’re telling me it’s not OK to waste food and throw stuff out, but it’s OK to tell someone their whole country is messed up? OK, now who’s the hypocrite? And I’m sorry, but I don’t know many scavenger orphans who have a video camera and a laptop. I think you’re the pretender. A pseudo-hippie.

  Hippies hate technology. They don’t care about making movies. Movies are made to sell society unattainable lifestyles. ‘Buy this perfume like Gwyneth Paltrow.’‘Be cool like Matt Damon and wear a Gucci watch.’‘Give your money to Brad and Angelina’s charities and you, too, will feel like you’re helping the world.’ But you’re not helping the world; you’re just trying to make YOURSELF feel better.

  Movies are made to sell products, not to entertain. And if you don’t know that, then you’re dumber than you sound. You think you’re doing the world a favor by making your own movies? As my dad says, it’s SHOW BUSINESS, not SHOW ART. You’re a businessman, Sim, how’s that make you feel?